Please enjoy this excerpt from my new book:
You, Beautiful: Getting gorgeous from the inside out.
Coming soon!
No time to read? Listen here!
When we say someone loves themselves, it’s not a compliment. Just the opposite. Loving yourself is being self-involved, selfish. It’s embarrassing to be described this way.
“It’s amazing what love can do”
It can be more socially acceptable to put ourselves down so other people can be comfortable (honestly though, if that’s what it takes to make the people around us comfortable, we need new people). To be acceptable we literally become invisible. As actor Jim Carrey said, “Your need for acceptance can make you invisible in this world.” Loving our own uniqueness is wrong. Much better to just, you know, blend in.
Reflecting on the outpouring of kindness and concern he’d experienced as he battled late-stage cancer, actor Patrick Swayze said, “It’s amazing what love can do.” When we’re loved, we feel safe. We can make mistakes and know we’ll be forgiven. We can mess up in the world and know there’s a soft place to land at home with him/her/them — the people who love us. Love empowers and strengthens us. Enables us to feel we’re standing on solid ground.
Here’s what’s interesting…
Self-love, the inside-out version of this embrace — does all this and more. Self-love is the source of our truest, purest courage. Because what love does, self-love can do on steroids. It can welcome us home to ourselves, make us feel secure and safe. We don’t have to call anyone, go anywhere, or Google anything. In the moment, in the midst of a situation, we can reassure ourselves: “You’re okay. You’re doing great. Don’t worry. I’m so proud of you. Stop beating yourself up; you did your best. Your mistakes don’t define you.”
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- “Oooh wow, didn’t know I had it in me!”
- “That actually went well. I can challenge what I don’t agree with.”
- “I’m still standing. I guess I can try something new!”
- “I actually spoke up and the floor didn’t open up and swallow me!”
Self-love is a gift we give ourselves
It gives us confidence and courage from the inside out. It’s always there. It’s always trustworthy. We never have to question its sincerity. And we don’t have to wait (and wait) for anyone else to make us feel worthy of it.