See what’s possible in July, Week 3: Strong in the broken places

I tried writing this week’s post three times. Couldn’t do it. The kitten needed spaying. My teeth needed cleaning. My closet needed organizing. And a million other things that come up when I’m supposed to be writing, and I’m just not ready.

But then, I remembered a story scribbled in a notebook that I had tossed onto the top shelf of the closet. Funny, those million things just weren’t important anymore. I yanked the closet door open and rummaged around the top shelf, empty hangers raining down on my head til I found the notebook.

When we’re ready, we find the energy and inspiration. Wild horses can’t stop us. New possibilities take shape.

So here’s the story

A sociologist was researching twins’ behaviors. She interviewed 30 sets of adult twins, asking questions about the choices they made for their lives. The goal was to understand nature vs. nurture. She wanted to know the extent to which biology influenced their choices (in which case their lives would be very similar) compared to the influence their environments and social experiences had on those choices (in which case their lives would be very different).

Essentially, were the lives of people born at the same moment to the same parents destined to follow the same path?

Did not see that coming

One surprising finding of her research came from twin men who had taken their lives in very different directions. She was shocked to hear their answer to the question, “How did you end up where you are now?”

The first man, a successful corporate tax attorney in New York City said, “Well, of course I was going to be successful. My father was an alcoholic.” When she asked the other twin, in prison for dealing drugs, the same question, he answered, “Well, of course I was going to end up in prison. My father was an alcoholic.”

Safe to say it was an I-did-not-see-that-coming moment for the researcher. Same tough upbringing. How it affected these men hinged on how they saw it and the choices they made as a result.

And us too. We all have the power to see any experience as motivation or a reason to be hopeless. The possibilities for our lives literally depend on this.

Stronger and more beautiful

A centuries-old Japanese tradition called kintsugi repairs broken pottery with powdered gold mixed into lacquer. The result is a beautiful vein of gold that enhances the beauty of the original piece. Instead of hiding the cracks, this tradition highlights and celebrates them. Some say kintsugi creates an entirely new and revitalized piece of art.

Like this stunning tradition, our experiences, especially the tough ones that break us a little, can also make us fresh and new. Let’s see them as motivation to do just that…to make us stronger and more beautiful in the broken places.

 

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