The “naked no”

Ever feel like the demands on your time are just endless?

Please enjoy this important excerpt from The Gift of No!

 

Compare what I call a “naked no,” a no without an explanation (a simple “I’m not available” or “I can’t make it” for example) with the too much information (TMI) version of the same statement: “I won’t be able to go because I have a fitting for the dress I’m wearing to my brother’s wedding.”

Beautiful someone, in the first case, no means no. Not much to talk about because the naked no doesn’t leave the door open for discussion or give someone information they can use to take down our boundary.

In the TMI version, we’ve practically invited the person to say, “The fitting’s on Thursday? That’s three days away! You have plenty of time to move the appointment and help me instead!” or “Those appointments are easy to change. All you have to do is call them. They’re very flexible!” or “A fitting? That’s why you can’t make it? Seriously?”

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