No time to read? Listen here:
I hope you enjoy this excerpt from my next book, The Beautiful Road!
We’ve all heard it before — “Be in the moment.” It’s screened onto coffee mugs, whispered in yoga studios, printed on posters everywhere. And if you’re anything like me, maybe it used to drive you a little nuts. What other moment could I possibly be in?
But life has a way of humbling us. I’ve come to realize that now is more slippery than it seems. The truth is, most of us aren’t truly present, not really. We may be sitting in one place, doing one thing, but our minds are literally everywhere else. We’re replaying the morning and everything that went wrong. We’re fast-forwarding to tomorrow, our to-do list crowding our peace. We drift back to last year or launch into next month. It’s a constant loop of past-future-past-future that literally crowds out right now.
The powerful present
And here’s the kicker: we have no real power over the past or the future — what’s already happened, or what might. The only thing we truly do have power over is what we’re doing in this very moment.
You might say, “But I’m learning from the past—I need that reflection. And I’m planning for the future—I need to prepare.” And I hear you. Those are important. But beautiful someone, to be totally honest, how often are those thoughts truly constructive? More likely, looking back turns into regret and self-blame. Looking forward? That can spiral into anxiety and self-doubt.
Sure, there are moments when reflection brings insight and planning brings progress—but those moments are rare compared to the storm of anxious noise our minds generate. That’s why the present is so powerful. It’s where learning, growth, and action actually happen.
This breath
Being present isn’t just about doing things more effectively. It’s about peace. It’s about the peace and quiet that come when we soften our muscles, take a deep breath, and allow ourselves to just be—with our coffee, with a good book, in conversation with someone dear. It’s about joy. The joy of saying: This moment matters. I matter. And I deserve to be fully here for it.
So yes, even though “be in the moment” has been worn thin by overuse, there’s still truth in it. We spend so much time lost in memories and projections that we leave no energy for right now. This movie. This meal. This cat curled up and purring on my lap. This breath.
Beautiful someone, let’s be real—it’s not graceful or grounding to be constantly multitasking, frazzled, split in five directions, always reaching, never resting. I grew up in the era that worshipped multitasking. It was literally glamorous. I remember running a conference call, defrosting chicken, feeding the dog, and madly gesticulating at my kids to start their homework — all at once. And for a moment, I felt proud. I thought I was nailing it.
But I wasn’t. I was exhausted. Disconnected. Dissipated. Doing everything without actually accomplishing anything.
Focus, not frenzy
Eventually, I learned, along my own Beautiful Road, that the real power to accomplish a goal lies in focus. Not frenzy. The simple act of giving my full attention to what I’m doing—folding socks, stirring a pot, outlining a book—is grounding. It’s healing because it helps me feel less fragmented and more whole. When I’m present, I do better, and maybe even more important, I feel better.
It’s not a coincidence that after hardship like an illness, a loss, or heartbreak, we suddenly notice the so-called little things. Sunlight through trees. The warmth of a mug in our hands. A moment of quiet. For me, tiny drops of rain on the back of a fuzzy caterpillar after a long mysterious illness. It’s like difficulty gives us permission to stop and savor. But here’s what I’ve learned: those small things were always precious. We just didn’t believe we had the right to notice them. We thought we had to hustle harder, push faster, stay alert or risk falling behind.
Hard times humble us. They remind us that this, right here, is what matters. If we can carry that lesson forward, even after the crisis passes, we give ourselves a gift that hardship only revealed—not created.
And beautiful someone, I’ll leave you with this: we don’t know if we have twenty years or twenty minutes left in this life. But we do know we have this moment. And we don’t have to earn it through suffering. We don’t have to wait until life breaks us to be allowed to enjoy the quiet miracle of now.
So breathe. Be here. Let it be real. Because it is.
Dig deeper:
Braving It, The gentle art of living boldly
You, Beautiful: Getting gorgeous from the inside out
#beinthemoment #believeinyourself