This February, join me for a different kind of love story. Seven days exploring how loving yourself first isn’t selfish—it’s how you become capable of the kind of love that changes everything. Because hope begins when you fill your own well.
Love is a force in motion. It builds when it’s shared and transforms everything it touches. But here’s the truth most of us learn too late: love doesn’t arrive from somewhere else. It flows from within.
The Foundation: Loving Ourselves First
Here’s what I know for sure, beautiful someone: we can’t give away what we don’t have. At least not in a healthy, balanced way.
I come back to this truth in every book I write because it’s not just a nice idea. It’s the foundation for everything else. The cornerstone of living an honest, authentic life.
Think about it.
How can we offer genuine love, compassion, and acceptance to others when we’re running on empty ourselves? When we haven’t first cultivated those precious qualities within our own hearts?
We can try. Many of us have.
But the love we give becomes strained. Conditional. Sometimes even resentful. It’s like trying to pour from an empty cup.
But when we fill our own cup first? When we learn to love ourselves with the same tenderness we want to give others?
Everything changes.
We become a wellspring instead of a dry well.
And from that place of fullness, love flows naturally. Abundantly. Joyfully. With a velocity that can transform not just our own lives, but the lives of everyone we touch.
Self-Love Isn’t Selfish
Self-love is the beginning point from which all other love flows.
When we love ourselves first, we know what love is and what it feels like. Without this deep, essential understanding of love within ourselves, our attempts at loving others become codependent. Depleting. Conditioned on what we might get in return.
No matter how well-intentioned we believe we are.
This is why the instruction to “love your neighbor as yourself” appears in so many wisdom traditions. Not “instead of yourself.” Not “more than yourself.”
As yourself.
Because you can only give to others what you’ve first given to yourself.
Next: A sacred thread that runs through every major spiritual tradition. What Christianity, Judaism, Islam, Buddhism, and Hinduism all independently discovered about love.
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